Survival. What does it actually mean?
The ability to like people around you? The ability to love people around you? Or perhaps the ability to live with people around you?
Is it the real meaning of survival? Hmm what if I don’t have all those abilities?
What if, in the city I live at the moment, I couldn’t like men around me. Don’t even want to try to get into them. What if I couldn’t love them. What if I couldn’t even live with them. I surely know this is not good, not right, but somehow my deepest little heart do not want it.
So does it mean that I can’t survive right now? Or I don’t want to?
What am I supposed to do then?
Well.. I currently ain’t feelin good. Had stomachache since yesterday. And it feels not good, really not good. So I have one day off today. Horray!
Because I have nothing to do in this morning, so I started this day with checking my facebook out (God, been long time not seeing my profile). And somehow there’s something forcing me to check your profile out. So here I am, on your profile (I’m not stalking but checking, ok? Hahaha). Then I saw your profile pictures. Damn! What? Am I crying? What’s makin me cry? Missing you or something?
I saw some photos of you, ok many. One is when you were in your fave blue jeans, standing holding books. One is when you were in your white shirt and grey sweater, sitting in a wood chair at a garden. One is when you sat in a coffee shop with a cute glasses, holding a cup of coffee. One is when you were laughing with your little sister. One is when you happily walked with your mates. How happy I was, whereas only watched your blue eyes, your smiles, your ridiculous faces. I’ve always wanted to tell you that.
Now I know. I just realized it… I miss you this much!